Although packs of baby wipes are designed so that when you pull a wipe out, the next wipe is left poking out of the pack, the only time this will happen consistently through the whole pack, is when your offspring has managed to get hold of the just opened pack and is merrily strewing them around the living room in the manner of a demented morris dancer.
At some point you will decide that cat hair and carpet fluff aren't really unhygenic, and there's no way you are throwing away the best part of a full pack of wipes, and you will stuff them back into the pack instead.
It really is possible to repack the plastic bag tubing into a nappy bin cartridge, it's not easy, and it certainly doesn't work as well afterwards, but it is possible.
If your child has a poorly tummy, brown trousers are a must.
It doesn't matter where they are or how uncomfortable it looks, if they're asleep during the day then leave them be. Any and all attempts to move them somewhere more comfortable will only result in them waking up and wanting to play. Of course this doesn't apply if they're face down in their dinner and in danger of smothering/drowning in it, although if possible get a photo first.
Before leaving your child alone for more than a couple of minutes, assume they are at least three stages ahead of where you think they are and scan the room with that in mind. Otherwise you're in danger of coming back to find your child sitting on your desk, having opened 20+ windows on your computer because they're actually sitting on the keyboard, the contents of your desk tidy strewn about a 2 foot radius with your child at the epicentre, and them closely examining the single most dangerous thing you have on your desk, such as a pair of scissors or a jigsaw blade (don't ask).
Move everything back or up beyond their reach, then move it a couple of feet further. A surprising amount of stuff can be dislodged or dragged/knocked closer with a well aimed teddy.
The biggest sinking feeling you'll ever experience is when you realise that your child has been uncharacteristally quiet for at least the last 20 minutes.
When you are trying to tell your child off for their latest misdemeanor and they suddely point at something off in the distance and brightly say 'mdurgle googah doody', the correct translation of this is 'Look, the Goodyear Blimp!'
Babies and toddlers can use the force.
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