Saturday, June 17, 2006

Are you sitting comfortably?

Then I'll begin.

Once upon a time, there was a worn out not-quite-middle-aged woman who was 28 weeks pregnant. It was summer and the weather was so warm the poor dear was struggling to sleep well. The previous day her handsome and very studly OH had set up a new bed for her in the basement of their mansion where it was nice and cool, and she was looking forward to a good nights sleep.

Sadly, this was not to be...

Having been called many times by Mother Nature throughout the night, she was lying in bed drowsing after the most recent call when she heard a distant knocking from without. Expecting that it would be the postman with a parcel she'd asked to be delivered that day, she pulled herself out of bed once more and headed for the door.

As she left her bedroom, a strange sight greeted her in the hallway. There, lying on the floor very nonchalantly was Azrael, one of her pet cats. This in itself is not all that strange you might say, and you'd be right. However sitting about a foot away from Azrael, also quite casually, was a young duck!

After a moments pause for contemplation the woman pointed at the two as said 'Don't you two go anywhere, I'll be right back', and continued on her way up the stairs to the front door.

Opening the door, she was greeted not by the postman but by her next-door neighbour who processed to say, 'Sorry to disturb you, but one of your cats has just gone through the cat-flap into your house with a duck.'

'Funny you should mention that' said the woman, and thanking the neighbour, closed the door and headed back downstairs to deal with the cat and the duck.

They were still precisely where she had left them, so first capturing the cat she incarcerated him in the bathroom, then grabbed a large towel, and gently dropped it over the duck. Locating a suitable box, she then used the towel to scoop up the duck and place it safely in the box.

After observing the duck for a few minutes, she determined that it was totally unharmed, so she went back into the bedroom and got dressed.

Returning to the duck in the box she picked up the box and carried it outside, down the garden through the long wet grass and released the duck at the bottom of the garden next to the river. Whereupon the duck plopped into the water and waggled away across the river as fast as it's little webbed feet could propel it.

The End.