Desperate and needy

I don't like to beg but I really need help. Not that kind of help you cheeky gits!

I’m desperate, really really desperate. Despite the fact that we have been able to get broadband at our new domicile now for the last four months. FOUR MONTHS!!! We. Still. Don’t. Have. It.

And boy do I need it.

Why don’t we have it yet? Well. Let me tell you. It’s all Wookie’s fault.

Y’see first off he had to choose the perfect ISP, you know what men are like, so that took the best part of a month, because basically he doesn’t focus the way women focus. He’d been the one to bitch and whine and complain when I chose a house that didn’t have broadband access, and I’d had to promise him that I would pay for satellite broadband because he absolutely had to have it. Then we discovered that BT were going to be upgrading our exchange in January (we moved in last October) and he grudgingly agreed (bitch, whine, complain) to wait for that to happen and suffer on dial-up until then.

So the day comes when the upgrade takes place, and lo, our phone line is broadband capable. So after all the moaning (and bitching and whining and complaining) you’d think he’d be there on the day to sign up. But no. After repeated verbal prodding from me he told me he was waiting for a new service to be set up, whereby you get your connection at whatever speed the line can take rather then the old system of paying more for a faster connection. This will be up and running in a couple of weeks he told me. Ok. So I wait.

So then the service is up and OMG he actually starts the signup procedure and this is where the major problem occurred. You see we are both going to be using this connection and the mail account that goes with it. And god forbid he should have just any old username, but to give him a smidgen of credit, he didn’t want to pick a username that was relevant to him but not to me.

So began the great username debate. The damn thing has to be between 5 and 16 characters long, only alphabetic and numeric characters allowed. He’s suggested a few, some of which I thought were ok but they had already been taken, I’ve suggested tons of the blasted things and most of them he’s vetoed, the remaining ones he’s not 100% happy about and so we still don’t have a bloody account.

A couple of the ones that were tried were Purgatory and Pandemonium. Others suggested have included Acheron and Tartarus (sensing a theme yet *grin*). Rejected suggestions have included Cathouse (well I thought it was funny), Albatross (a-la Monty Python) and Armadillo (crunchy on the outside soft on the inside). Another suggestion was ThePub as in Wookie@thepub…., which he thought was funny the first few times but then he decided it would wear thin after a while, so that was out too.

So I’m now asking for your help. I want suggestions for our new username, anything at all, with an explanation if there is one. Lob them in the comments and I will offer them up to him like sacrificial lambs. Who knows, if he actually likes one of them and it gets used I may even give a little prize to the person who suggested it.

Help me please.