Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Superman he's not

Yesterday was a bath day for Ewok and I. There's not enough hot water in the tank to 1/4 fill the bath for him (37 deg precisely) and then refill it to parboil temperatures for me, so we bathe together while he gets a-scrubbin' and then Wookiee takes him away to dry and dress while I fill the bath up with OMFG-that's HOT! water, lie back with my book, and cook myself for half an hour.

Once I'm also scrubbed and polished I swathe myself in towels big enough to make tents for an entire Bedouin tribe and wander upstairs to the living room (it's a strange house) to get dry and dressed myself.

It was at this point I should have been warned about things to come. Ewok decided that it would a splendid idea to try and wear my knickers (aka panties). Now by no stretch of the imagination am I small, you could probably make Ewok an entire outfit out of the fabric from one pair of my panties. Much amusement was had by Wookiee and I at the sight of Ewok wandering around the living room with my knickers pulled up over his trousers (of course he had both legs through one leg hole, but hey) and we joked that only superheroes wear their underwear on the outside.

A little later in the evening while I was cooking dinner, Ewok started kicking up a fuss because he was HUNGRY NOW DAMMIT and didn't want to wait the few more pico seconds it was going to take for me to cut his sausages up into bite size chunks. So Wookiee let him out of the living room and let him roam under supervision, his supervision.

The first thing Ewok did was make a beeline up the stairs in pursuit of gawd-alone-knows-what, so Wookiee was stood at the bottom of the stairs coaxing him back down and watching for slips. Now Ewok can do stairs, he's careful, holds onto the rails, scoots down on his bottom, that sort of thing. Yet in the seconds that Wookiee looked away to talk to me in the kitchen (why he had to look in my direction to talk to me, I don't know), Ewok decided that if he could wear underwear on the outside he could also fly, and launched himself down the remaining steps.

Bumpetty, bumpetty, bump, splat, waaahhhhhh!

At least now he knows he can't fly, and he's going to have a corking black eye tomorrow, just in time to show off to his friends at Little Poppets.