Monday, December 19, 2005


I'm a right moody mare at the moment. Usually I wake up fine but them something will inevitably go wrong during the day and then I'm on a massive downer from that point onwards, unless something really good happens.

Like yesterday. I was dyeing a piece of fabric, trying to come up with something for a particular design. It needed to be blues and greens because the design is a mermaid underwater. After I'd rinsed the loose dye out of the fabric it looked really good, so then I started to iron it dry. That's when things went wrong. I had the iron on steam and it's quite an old one, so it decided to spit some boiling hot water out of the steam holes.

The problem is that although the dye is fixed, it's only up to a certain temperature. Wash the fabric in really hot water and the dye will run. So, where the iron had spit out the water I now had several lovely pale spots with really dark rings around them where the dye had been pushed outwards by the hot water, effectively ruining all the work I'd put into that piece.

That was the point at which I just felt like throwing all the dyeing stuff and fabrics in the bin and never bothering again. I lost all my energy for doing anything. I simply couldn't be bothered to do anything else.

This has been happening a lot lately, and I know it's a classic sign of depression but I've been there before and I know that, this time, it's not depression. I just wish I knew what it was. For all I know it's the fertility tablets I'm on, or it could simply be the time of year, the weather, or any number of other things.

Wookiee's not a lot of help either. Going back to yesterday, I went to tell him what had happened. I needed a hug. What I got was the following suggestions:

"You've got some more fabric haven't you, just do another one." - See he's not getting the whole can't be arsedness of my current mood here.

"Get yourself another iron and some distilled water and just use it for your stitching stuff, that way you wont have the problem with lime scale building up and ruining your iron." - Useful advice, however this doesn't cure the already buggered piece of fabric, and frankly I'm not after advice. I WANT A HUG dammit.

This is just one of the little things that are giving me trouble. There are loads of things that need to be done asap. Neither of the showers should be used because they both leak, however one is more serious than the other, it's leaking into the electrics, so we can't use that one at all, the other is simply soaking the carpet and a partition wall, so we keep using it carefully. We need to get one of them fixed. We've just discovered that there's no insulation in the loft, which would explain why the master bedroom (in the roof) is freezing cold, even during the day, so we need to get that sorted. The living room is a mess of junk and furniture. I want to decorate and put the tree up but I can't until it's been tidied, but I can only do so much at a time because of my back. Yet, when I ask his royal pedanticness to sort out his crap he asks ME where he should put it. How should I know, me says. To which he responds, ok I'll wait and see what you do with yours first. AAARGH!

There's other stuff as well, but as you can imagine, my head is spinning, and despite Wookie being aware of all this, I haven't had a single offer of assistance, and when I specifically ask him to do something I get stupid-ass comments.

Right, I'm going to stop grousing now, after all, 'Tis the season to be happy and all that.

Bah humbug.