Thursday, November 24, 2005

Ring of Independence

Almost 5 years ago my (now-ex) husband told me he wanted a divorce. It came as a bit of a surprise because, although I knew all was not right in our relationship, I had no idea it was that bad. After a bit of wailing, rending of garments and gnashing of teeth I finally admitted to myself that I was actually ok with it. Thus ensued a very amicable split.

About 3 months after the initial announcement I was at a large trade fair with my good friend S. I was there to find new suppliers of components for my jewellery and she was there with me for fun. As we wandered around the jewellery hall I spotted a ring. It was a half-eternity ring made of white gold and set with 3 Ceylon sapphires and 2 diamonds. I liked it because of it’s simplicity, the smoothness of the settings and the fact that the stones were all the same size, no piddly little diamonds for this girl.

It was a very good price for a lovely ring but I tore myself away, and as I wandered up and down with S I bemoaned the fact that I now had no one to buy me jewellery, or flowers, or any other stuff like that. Not that my ex ever did which was a source of quiet disappointment for me, but some men are like that.

Brief digression: For the men who read this. ‘I wouldn’t know what to buy’ or ‘what if I got something and you didn’t like it’ are simply not good enough excuses for not buying us jewellery. Most women will subtly let you know what sort of things she likes. Remember the time she lingered in front of the jewellers’ window and pointed out one or two things that she liked... when she does that, MAKE NOTES. Oh and if you have paid attention and you do buy her something, I can almost guarantee that she will LOVE it, because YOU bought it. FOR HER. Without being told. It won’t matter if you get the wrong size (if it’s a ring). That’s easy to fix. Oh, and trust me, if you do this, you will net yourself a gazillion brownie points. Ok, digression over.

All the time I was essentially bemoaning my single status my friend was giving me ‘the look’, you know, the one that says ‘Have you heard yourself, have you actually heard the drivel you are spouting’ and it came to me that I was indeed spouting a whole load of drivel. Because…

I didn’t need no steenking man to buy me jewellery. Or flowers. Or anything else for that matter.

At that point I turned around and made a beeline back to the stall where I had seen the ring, and I bought it. Actually I had to order it, because it needed to be resized. I don’t have dainty hands.

I wore that ring constantly for the next 2 years (until I had to stop wearing it because I got pudgy) and every time I started to think as though I needed a man in my life I just looked at that ring and said to myself ‘I don’t need no steenking man’

I was reminded of this last week as I have finally managed to slim down to the point at which I can wear my ring again, and I am doing. Because although I now have a man in my life, and a wonderful one he is to be sure, and I hope he stays in my life for ever. The thing to remember always is…

‘I don’t NEED no steenking man’